My stumbling - I'm finding value in healing my heart
I'm finding on my leadership journey the importance of healing my heart. I believe leadership is an inside job. It starts within us. Inspiration to lead starts from within.
I don't talk about healing the heart and frankly I don't do it that well... It's uncomfortable to talk about. Also uncomfortable to reflect on pain and hurt.
I believe when the heart isn't healed it's like having a leak in the tire. Or imagine a frigid day with a window open while trying to keep the house warm. A wounded heart leaks energy.
This reality leads me to the conclusion... The wounds of life cannot be ignored! If I don't heal, then I'll pass my wounds to my teammates, my customers, my vendors, my friends and most importantly my children and then my children's children!
I stumbled into this aphorism recently from Robin Sharma: HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
This four word phrase helped me zoom out. We live in a fallen world. A world full of brokenness. It's unavoidable.
This phrase helps me step on the balcony in my life experiences.
My natural reaction to wounds & pain are to react to attain vengeance. The monkey mind in my head wants me to be the victim: "How unfair! Gggggrrrrrr!" The monkey mind continues…"say the unkind thing to seek JUSTICE!"
This phrase HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE reminds me that I have an opportunity (and responsibility) to heal my wounds so I don't carry wounds forward onto others. (consciously or subconsciously)
HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE gets me on the balcony.
Once on the balcony, I'm finding gratitude is the next step to heal wounds. (I'm still working on this!!!)
Brianna Wiest articulates the importance of gratitude: "Truly coming to peace with anything is being able to say: 'thank you for that experience.'" This quote rings so true for me in my difficult transition to president. I have found that I'm much stronger and more reflective by finding purpose and growth in the difficult days of my transition to leadership. I ultimately found great solace in writing and learning from the pain and wrote a book to share with the world!
Gratitude for difficult moments is so very difficult. I'm still working on internalizing the mindset of the greats: Life happens FOR us not to us.
C. Joybell C so eloquently states to reframe suffering with gratitude: "we're all stars that think they're dying until we realize we're collapsing into supernovas - to become more beautiful than ever before."
I'm realizing that the journey of healing my heart amplifies my capacity to serve and to be a brighter light (supernova).
I'm going to keep working on patching the leaks and closing the windows ;)
Onward,
Matt
PS - here are some amazing quotes on healing wounds from one of my favorite authors Brianna Wiest:
"What you learn and who you become is more important than how you temporarily feel."
"In feeling helpless, you learn to take care of yourself….In feeling like you're stuck, you realize there is always a choice."
"To fully move on from anything, you must be able to recognize what purpose it served and how it made you better."
"To fully accept your life-the highs, lows, good, bad - is to be grateful for all of it… to know that the 'good' teaches you well, but the 'bad' teaches you better."
"The people who have been through a lot are often the ones who are wiser and kinder and happier overall."