How Steve Jobs empowered his team to embrace confrontation

There is a parable shared by Steve Jobs about the importance of embracing tension & friction in conversation.  

As humans, it’s not normal to embrace confrontation. At our core we are pack animals that want to be liked and desire a sense of belonging. Embracing confrontation is counterintuitive to our instincts.  

The challenge in business is that greatness is found in embracing the AND. The balance of competing interests. The balance of safety AND production. The balance of profits AND people. The balance of today AND tomorrow. 

Jobs does a phenomenal job reframing confrontation to embrace the real issues. 

Here’s how the story goes: 

Steve Jobs would often tell the story about how, as a boy, his neighbor taught him a valuable lesson with two rocks. The neighbor took Steve to his garage and showed him a rock tumbler. He put a handful of rough, ordinary-looking rocks into the machine, added some grit and water, and turned it on. The tumbler made noise, and the rocks tumbled against each other. After a day of constant tumbling, the old man turned off the machine, and when they opened it, the rough stones had turned into polished, beautiful gems. 

It's through real conversations and tension that root issues can be found! Most companies will avoid confrontation. But the companies that have the boldness, the courage, and the trust to confront real issues head on will find real solutions to real problems. That is like a “polished, beautiful gem.” 

As we continue to evolve and build an organization of care, it should be and will be celebrated to have friction and tension. As leaders, our teammates need us to bring the real issues to the table and find the right solutions. The right solutions require disagreements. 

Artificial harmony or “politeness” doesn’t work for companies to be relevant for decades marketplace. David Oglvy (marketing titan) called it the “tyranny of politeness.” At best, politeness can lead to sub-optimal performance. At worst, it can lead to extinction. The best companies build trust and hit issues head on TOGETHER.  

Let’s throw some grit & water in the mix this week! 

Onward, 

Matt