The contract that kept Urban Meyer's family intact

Urban Meyer is a highly accomplished collegiate coach. He won two national titles at the University of Florida. I got to learn from the pitfalls of his life in Wright Thompson’s book The Cost Of These Dreams. 

“Gigi (Urban Meyer’s daughter) stood and spoke… She thanked her mother for being there season after season, year after year. Then she turned to her father (Urban Meyer). He’d missed almost everything. ‘You weren’t there,’ she told him…moments later, Gigi high-fived her dad without making eye contact, then hugged her coach.” (145) 

OUCH! I can’t think of a more embarrassing and heart breaking situation than the above moment.  

Urban Meyer’s ambition created blinders. For over two decades he was chasing and climbing even when his family were explicitly asking for his presence. The Meyer family was bending over backwards for Urban’s dreams. The Meyer children often asked why they kept moving and Shelley (Urban’s wife) always said, “daddy’s climbing a mountain.” (150) 

This mountain Urban was climbing led him to the back of an ambulance after a heart attack laying on the floor in his mansion with two national championship rings. 

The untamed ambition led to destruction all around Urban. Urban created so much pain. Urban never took the time to reflect on the pain until he was forced into stillness and reflection with a heart attack. 

PAIN + REFLECTION = GROWTH 

Urban began to reflect. Fortunately, Urban began to course correct. 

Before going back to his craft of coaching he created a contract with his family: 

1. My family will always come first. 

1. I will take care of myself and maintain good health. 

1. I will go on a trip once a year with Nicki – MINIMUM. 

1. I will not go more than nine hours a day at the office. 

1. I will sleep with my cellphone on silent. 

1. I will continue to communicate daily with my kids. 

1. I will trust God’s plan and not be overanxious. 

1. I will keep the lake house. 

1. I will find a way to watch Nicki and Gigi play volleyball. 

1. I will eat three meals a day. 

There is an incredible amount of wisdom in Urban’s contract with his family.  

Charlie Munger reminds us: Wisdom is prevention. 

Urban’s contract has some great content to care for ourselves and our families. 

May we strike a balance and always remain vigilant of the priority of our families as we climb mountains TOGETHER.  

Matthew 16 says it best: “what good is a man that gains the world yet loses his soul?” 

Onward, 

Matt